Life Lessons from Mom: Don't Get in Cars with Strangers

Yes, it’s exactly what your mother has been telling you since you were little. As this is a blog dedicated to my travels and all those solo travelers out there, I think it’s essential to quickly remind you that mom’s always right. As a young girl with fair skin and hair, I get a lot of attention in places outside North America and Northern Europe, and one of the most important lessons I've learned (several times) is to be wary of strangers. This doesn't mean sacrificing a friendly smile or trying to immerse yourself in a new culture, just keep one eye open for those who may not be as well intending as yourself.

I visited Morocco with my roommate, Hillari, who is also light skinned and fair haired. After a day and a half of constant car honking, crude comments, blatant stares, and one rather uncomfortable gesture, we were quite tired of Morocco’s natives. We visited what was supposed to be a Sultan’s palace and gardens, though it is not exactly what you imagine. It was a bit difficult to find, even after the taxi dropped us off. We spotted a police man, and were approaching him to ask directions when a young boy told us the way to the Palace was down a street to our right. Assuming he only wanted a few coins for giving us help, I didn’t question his intentions but my better judgment insisted we ask the official. When we did, we were surprised to learn the Palace was in the opposite direction, and that our young acquaintance was not to be trusted. He skirted around us, and down the road again tried to point us in the wrong direction. I can't help but wonder what exactly would have happened had we walked down that ally? Before entering the Palace, we came across a lovely view of the ocean, and stopped to take a few pictures. It wasn’t long before we realized we weren’t the only one’s doing so.. There were two old creepy guys following us, taking our photo. It wouldn’t be so unusual for them to take pictures of strange looking visitors, except they continued to follow us for close to an hour. Luckily we were in one of the more touristy parts of Tangier, and attached ourselves to a German couple who turned out to be lovely company. I shudder to think of all the things that could have happened that afternoon, and I know we were lucky to have survived four days in Morocco!

I have also discovered it is far better to severely offend someone than to realize too late you’ve made a mistake in trusting them. Again in Tangier, Morocco, I went to the post office to mail home a blanket and rug I had purchased. As I approached the front doors, an older guy stopped me and in broken English told me packages had to go around the building, pointing down a sketchy and deserted alley. After the previous day’s adventure, I was wary of his ‘help’. I thanked him but firmly refused, and when he persisted I became quite testy. Come to find out, he did in fact work for the post office, and was quite put off by my rebuff. I apologized, and after a bit he apparently forgave me. However, it is so difficult to tell sometimes, and it is far better to be on your guard than to naively trust everyone you encounter.

Even in Malta, so close to Italy and Spain, it is essential to stay on your guard. I visited the post office on another part of the island to pick up a package one day, and as I was waiting for the bus to return home, a car pulled over and an old grungy guy indicated that I should get in. I shook my head no and proceeded to ignore him, wishing there were someone else at the stop, when he got out of the car and again demanded that I get in. Luckily I carry around my BlackBerry to keep the time, so I pulled it out and said “Pulizija!” so he would understand I intended to call the cops. He grudgingly got back in his car and drove off, but I have to say, it scared the shit out of me. I have discovered this is a fairly typical pick up tactic for men in Malta.

Often I speak to people at the Market or outside the Valletta gates waiting for a bus- I am not ready to sacrifice local immersion for safety, some risks are just part of traveling. Once I spoke with an older gentleman buying fish for less than a minute before he told me I was beautiful and offered me a ride home. Just today, as I was walking to the bus, a young guy accosted me with a slip of paper containing his number, asking to give me a ride home and telling me he wouldn’t give me any trouble if I went with him. So even after five months in Malta, I find that it’s still important to be on your guard.

By far the most important thing is to be aware of your surroundings, because there is nothing worse than being cornered and suddenly realizing there is nobody around. Also, firmness makes a world of difference. If you confidently say no, and walk away, or make it clear they’ve crossed a boundary, you’ll be far more successful in your escape. You have to remember you are entirely responsible for yourself, and sometimes there’s nobody there to help you but you.

So maybe mom was right this one time, though you certainly don’t have to admit it so long as you follow her advice ;)